


Beard

by midnightskydan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Shaving, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 13:00:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21162047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightskydan/pseuds/midnightskydan
Summary: Dan shaves Phil’s beard for him.pff bingo: envy & shaving





	Beard

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: a “beard” is also a term for a woman who associates with a gay man so he can look straight, and i feel like that just brings a new level to this fic lol
> 
> thanks to @alyxsayssup (on tumblr) for beta’ing ! :)
> 
> **Warnings**: mentions of blades (shaving), mentions of internalized homophobia, facial hair being associated heavily with masculinity

Dan likes it when Phil lets his stubble grow out. He likes the way it looks. He likes the way it feels when he touches it. He likes the scratchy kisses. He likes the beard burn that finds its way between his thighs. Dan really likes it. It makes Phil look more his age, and more like a man. Dan has learned to unapologetically enjoy that, after all these years. He’s learned that being attracted to something because of its masculinity isn’t shameful. He thinks part of the reason he likes it so much is that it makes him feel gay. And he’s spent his entire life trying to be comfortable feeling gay. 

Sometimes being attracted to Phil doesn’t necessarily feel gay. Sometimes it just feels wordless and amazingly unriddled by societal perceptions of humanity. Dan has always felt that this sort of attraction is attraction in its purest form. Attraction not to a body or a gender, but to a person and all that they are aside from those things. And though he does feel this, Dan likes it when the attraction he feels does feel gay. His partner is a man. Dan’s attracted to him because of that, not in spite of it.

He sort-of wishes he could grow one as well. Wishes that they could have scratchy beard kisses, that he could leave a red burn between Phil’s thighs, that he could look so much like a man.

Gender expression is weird. Sometimes Dan is happy wearing oversized jumpers and having soft cheeks and smooth skin. Sometimes he shaves his body entirely hairless and that’s how he exists as a man. Other times, like now, he’s a bit jealous.

His hand lies on Phil’s chest, fingers playing with the chest hair that Dan doesn’t have. It’s a silly little insecurity, and it obviously doesn’t make him any less of a man. He’s still a 28-year-old man, even if he does sometimes feel that he looks like a teenage boy.

Dan spreads his hand over Phil’s chest, wondering if he would even suit it the way Phil does. Phil looks hot. He looks a bit like a dad, but, hey, Dan’s 28 and he doesn’t find that at all unattractive. Much the opposite, in fact.

Dan wonders if he’ll look like a dad someday. When he imagined their future family, he’d sort of pictured them as both channeling the essence of dads through facial hair and hairy chests. Maybe he still views family units through a slightly heteronormal lens.

Why does it matter so much to him? It’s just a bit of hair.

It’s probably because he’s gay, he thinks. Everything seems to come back to that. Is Dan the more stereotypical of the two? Softer, younger-looking, clean-shaven, not entirely gender-conforming. He knows that it’s stupid as soon as he thinks it. Firstly, Phil has quite his fair share of stereotypes that he fits, and it doesn’t make him less of a man, or their relationship less valid. Secondly, Dan’s worked hard to care less about how he’s perceived in relation to gender and sexuality. If he wants to dress up in a skirt, put on a full face of makeup, and call himself a man, he can. Gender roles are meaningless, and facial hair is just one of those things. Some girls get it, some guys don’t. It’s meaningless.

When these thoughts start to genuinely bother him, he pushes them aside.

Dan asks Phil when he plans to shave. 

Phil doesn’t hate the beard. Dan’s pretty sure he enjoys the masculinity of it as well. He’s never been one to change his appearance without thinking it over for a while, though. He had worn his hair up and pushed back around Dan for months before he officially changed the look. It made sense with the millions of eyes on them. So, Dan knew the beard had to go soon.

Phil’s lying beside him, looking back at him when he asks. “Probably before I film,” he answers. His voice is deep and a bit scratchy, the way it only really gets when he’s lying beside Dan like this. Dan likes all his voices, but this one is among his very favorites. 

Dan hums in reply, reaching a hand up to touch the hair on his cheek. It’s a lighter shade than his dyed hair. Dan had teased him about it and quickly followed up the teasing with unabashed compliments and over-the-top baby talk as he poked at his cheeks. This, then, had been followed by comments about wishing he’d let Dan get more than a peek at his natural hair color. 

“Can I?” Dan asks, moving his hand against the grain of the beard, entertaining himself with the roughness of it. 

“What, shave for me?” 

“Mhm.” 

Phil quirks an eyebrow. “Alright,” he agrees. “May I ask why?” 

Dan shrugs the best that he can while lying on his side. “Just wanna.” 

“You can do it right now if you want,” Phil says. He’s not being very productive anyways. He discarded his laptop to the side when Dan crawled onto the bed. 

Dan lets his eyes wander Phil’s face again. “Give me one more night with it.” 

Both Phil’s eyebrows raise at this. “Oh,” he says, grinning smugly. 

Dan kisses the grin from his face. 

~•~•~ 

In the bathroom, Dan realizes that it will be, in fact, as intimate as he had expected. It’s weird that they’ve never done this before, he thinks. After showers together, during lazy bedtime rituals, it hadn’t really occurred to Dan to try it. 

He brings his hand to Phil’s cheek again, looking him over, aware his lips have quirked up fondly in a way that must seem strange. Phil’s probably used to that by now. He slides his thumb over Phil’s lips, popping the bottom one out and back in place, pleased with himself. He holds Phil’s chin as he leans in to steal one more kiss before the scratchiness is gone. 

Phil chuckles against Dan’s lips. “Getting on with it?” he asks, his voice quiet and amused. 

“Don’t rush me, rat,” Dan replies pulling back. “This is my barbershop.” 

Phil’s eyes shine with amusement, and he chuckles that quiet and fond chuckle of his. “What is this? Some barbershop roleplay?”

Dan grabs the shaving cream, spraying the foam onto his hand and bringing it to Phil’s cheek. “Yes,” he says seriously. 

Phil looks at Dan’s eyes. They’re focused, and he spreads the foam over Phil’s cheeks, above his upper lip, and down his neck. He meets Phil’s eyes and grins at Phil’s amused expression.

Dan turns to grab the razor, bringing it to Phil’s cheek. He’s careful and Phil’s breathing slows. He drags the razor lightly over the skin. He pulls it away, rinses it in the faucet, and returns it to the next place. He repeats the process, almost entranced by it. He’s shaved plenty of times, though never a fully visible beard. It’s different. 

He rinses the razor in the sink again, and Phil’s hair washes down the drain. He thinks hair in the sink is normally quite gross, but this isn’t. No part of Phil is gross to Dan, and it’s kind of amazing. He’s seen every bit of Phil, pressed kisses and hot skin against every part of Phil.

When Phil has half a beard left, Dan rinses the razor and sets it on the counter. “All done!”

Phil grins, looking in the mirror. His face is still covered in shaving cream. “This is a look.”

“It is,” Dan agrees.

“I could put makeup on this side and make a bold statement about gender roles,” Phil says.

“Exactly,” Dan says. “Ugh, you really get my artistic genius.”

Dan grabs the razor and goes to finish the job.

“This is nice,” Phil breathes when Dan is next rinsing the razor. It smells like shaving cream, and Phil could have finished a long time ago on his own, but he’s cheesy. He likes letting Dan take care of him.

“Mm?” Dan asks, smiling. It is. “Me washing your dirty hair down the drain?” he teases.

“Oi,” Phil says quietly, a fond lilt to his voice. “It’s not dirty.”

Dan’s almost finished, dragging the blade in short strokes down Phil’s upper lip. “You forget where it was last night?” he teases, voice entirely serious.

Phil has to hold back giggles to avoid being cut.

“There,” Dan says, finished. He rinses the razor, grabs a towel, and towels off Phil’s face until there’s no loose hair left behind.

Dan likes his face beardless, too. He leans in to press a kiss to it. Phil tastes like shaving cream, but he smiles.

“Think I ought to give my prepubescent facial hair growing skills another shot?” he asks.

Phil pouts. “But I like your face like this,” he says.

“I can’t believe my baby face turns you on. Disgusting,” Dan says. His voice is laced with humor, but Phil knows him well enough by now to detect the insecurity.

“You haven’t got a babyface,” he says, bringing a hand to cup his cheek. “You’re pretty,” he says.

Dan looks down, obviously not wanting to hear that.

Phil brings his thumb to Dan’s lip and pulls it out to plop it back in. “You are. You’re pretty. And handsome, and hot, and I’m super gay for you,” Phil says, grinning.

Dan rolls his eyes, giving a small smile and looking up. “Well, lucky for you, I, too, am super gay for you.” He presses a short kiss to Phil’s lips. When he pulls back, he drags his eyes over Phil’s face before he meets Phil’s eyes. “You’re such a... _ man _ .”

Phil gives an airy chuckle. “So are you.”

Dan sighs. Maybe this isn’t one of the things he needs to talk through, but it never hurts to speak his thoughts out loud. Sometimes they sound sillier, smaller, like that. He knows Phil will never judge them. 

“I just...like, I wish I was more your brand of masculinity, is all.”

Phil frowns. “I don’t,” he says. “I like your masculinity,” he assured. “I like your smooth skin, and your broad shoulders, and your lips, and nose, and jaw. I like your confidence, your authority, your ambitions. You’re just what I look for in a man, Dan, believe it or not.”

Dan likes it when Phil calls him a man. “Ten years, I’d hope so,” he says.

“Exactly.” Phil turns to the mirror and turns his head, looking for missed patches. Dan hasn’t missed any. “You can try and grow something out if you want, though.”

Dan leans against the counter. “Nah,” he says. “Sounds itchy. Maybe in a year or so.”

“You’re weird,” Phil says, pressing a kiss to Dan’s temple before walking past him and out of the bathroom. “Riverdale?”

“Ughhh,” Dan groans, but he follows anyway.


End file.
